I brewed my own aphrodisiac tea and this is what happened.
Having been cooped up at home overcoming a recent tonsillectomy, I had time on my hands. What better way to pass it than in the kitchen, whipping up ‘Love your Libido’ tea?
As most normal twenty-five year old females do on a Friday afternoon, I decided to troll the internet on how to make my own aphrodisiac tea. I have read many accounts on how women have multiple orgasms from one sip of this potent juice and I (for journalistic purposes) was happy to try it out. The outcome? Still pending.
As any journalist does, my first port of call was the internet. I read through many a recipe before settling on one which seemed the easiest to make (cooking is not my forte).
I drove to the nearest health store and stocked up on a basket on random items that would undoubtedly get the blood flowing. ‘Having a dinner party?’ the lady at the herbal wellness store asked me nonchalantly. Something like that, Karen.
When I got home, I found my father home from work sitting on the couch watching the Rugby. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was brewing an ancient sex aphrodisiac. Having lived with me for twenty-five years, he shook his head and said ‘Ok lovie, have fun. Little did he or my mother know, I would enlist the whole family to test my broth later that afternoon.
2 parts damiana leaf
1 part rose petals
1½ parts cinnamon chips
1 part shatavari root
2 parts hibiscus
1 part sarsaparilla
Blend herbs together in jar.
Add to boiling water, let steep 10 minutes, and sweeten with honey to taste.
As I write this I have been sipping on my herbal tea for the past four hours and still no signs of crazy sexual desires. I am off to the Moscow Circus in two hours, so let’s hope this isn’t a slow brewing potion. Over all hypothesis? Bullshit.