50 Shades of ‘I refuse to pay that for a sex toy’.

Ok, so while some of us like to spice things up in the bedroom with whipped cream, others are buying 14 million rand dildos that double as necklaces.

We’ve rounded up the 6 most expensive sex toys on the market and some of them are so expensive, if we had to pay that amount of money for pleasure, best believe we would be taking a vow of celibacy.

  1. Platinum Vibrator encrusted with Diamonds – R54 000

What ever happened to the old fashioned rabbit? Well apparently some girls deserve the best and that includes diamonds on everything. Sigh, if only we could find the kind of man who agrees with this notion.  As The Bachelor’s Corinne would say, some girls do have platinum vagines.

platinum vibrator

  1. Silver butt plug with a real horse tail – R56 000

Ok, some people need Jesus. Sex toy designer Betony Vernon has designed this interesting, um, accessory that will leave you feeling like ‘My little Pony’.

silver butt plug with horse hair


  1. Paradise String of Pearls – R62 000

Also a collector’s item from the famous Queen of sex, Betony Vernon, this massage ring doubles up as an inconspicuous fashion accessory. When the party is over you can put it pretty much anywhere you like … talk about multi-purpose couture.

paradise pearls

  1. Dream love chair – R88 000

If you’re thinking of redecorating your house, hold the process! Your lounge isn’t shit without this ‘tinder of the dating world’ sex chair…Yes, next level lazy. We’re not sure what it does or in which orifice you put it, but hey, they sell like hot cakes in Korea (so who are we to judge).

dream love chair

  1. Victor Phantasm – R810 000

Yes you read that right.  This sex toy costs almost a million rand (and no it doesn’t come with unlimited sex with Zac Efron). This 18 carat diamond- ring mounted dildo is the perfect engagement ring. The ring is needed to put the dildo together (kind of kinky right?). The best part is that in the day it doubles up as a beautiful engagement ring. Now this we might be into!


  1. The Royal Pearl – 13. 5 Million Rand

Talk about the royal jewels! This 13 million rand vibrator is designed by legendary designer Colin Burn and ensures that your sex life is filled with sapphires, diamonds and pearls. Talk about a man treating his woman right.

the royal pearl